mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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