so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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