She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
