What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Randomize
