I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize