He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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