Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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