his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
