I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
