dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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