She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
