i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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