Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
