on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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