My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Are we still banned from the library?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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