I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
