we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize