I hope mine doesn't look like that
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
