im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
did i walk over a car last night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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