She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
