sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
