Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize