I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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