I puked a lego.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
