seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
