We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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