dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
