The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
