so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
