I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
