I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
