Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Semen is not good for contacts.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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