If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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