I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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