All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
