Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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