he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
