I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
