Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
