check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
