Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
