I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
