Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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