I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
