so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
