I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
