so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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