i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i think i just lost a toe
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
