On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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