Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
