I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
