I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
