Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
