About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
