The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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