I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He did a backflip because drugs
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