I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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