the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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