I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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