how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my sisters under your porch take her home
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize