i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
