Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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