Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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