Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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