"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
